Week no? I have no idea but it’s about DRUGS…(and wine)

It took me a million years to write a new post so let me start with offering my apologies.
It’s a small excuse though but well meant.

You know, I actually wrote a post, but I just didn’t publish it. It was a bit boring but that was because I was experimenting with medication. I know that sounds quite seriimg_2512ous, but then again…it was. I’ve never cared about drugs. Of course, I’ve tried weed once or twice (hey, I live in The Netherlands so what do you expect?) but weed just wasn’t my thing. Pills or cocaine or I don’t know what, never appealed to me so that was out of the question as well.
What I have tried though, was Tramadol. That was after a horse decided to continue his walk without me on his back and I fractured my coccyx, hurt my vertebrae L5 up to T12 and tilted my SI-joint. Tramadol was a lot of fun😊 I could hardly img_2511remember who I had spoken to or what I said an hour before. I felt like Alice in Wonderland but then an Alice who wasn’t able to sit. You can understand, I stopped with Tramadol ASAP because I was absolutely not in control of myself.

I’ve also tried Xanax against my fear of flying. Whenever I’m flying, I’m so scared that I’m on the edge of crying or I actually cry. In the old days you were allowed to go to the cockpit, so I would stop a stewardess while the tears rolled down my cheeks and I would ask her if I could please have a word with the pilot. After sitting a little while in the cockpit I could see how relaxed the pilot was and I would be able to go back to my seat and continue my flight feeling a bit more relaxed.  When we were flying to Indonesia I decided to ask my GP for something to make me feel better during the flight and he subscribed Xanax. Yeah well, that dose of Xanax didn’t work so after the holiday I went back to my GP to ask for something better and a double dose.

The first flight during which I could try the higher dose was from Antwerrollercoasterp to Barcelona. Just before arriving at the airport I took a tablet. While waiting to board the message came that the flight had a 30 minutes delay.
“OMG! Maybe my Xanax won’t work anymore so I better take a second one!”
I think I don’t need to explain to you that taking that second tablet wasn’t one of my best decisions.  That whole 1,5hr flight I felt spaced out, euphoric even! That thunder, lightning and turbulence felt like a rollercoaster and it was definitely the best flight ever. Whiehoooooo……..
I’ve never took Xanax again. I hate being out of control.

What was I talking about? Oh right, medication.
Well, under the guidance of my ADHD coach and psychiatrist I was trying medication. Methylphenidate Retard to be exact. I can’t even pronounce the word but then again, I don’t really have to. I just say: “Methyl-thingy pills” and everyone knows what I’m talking about. Bizarre, right? I don’t get it… Before I joined the ADHD circus, I only knew about Ritalin since that’s the medication you always read about in the newspapers. All those crazy people who suddenly do really stupid things, they all took or are still taking Ritalin. And that’s why I was a bit reluctant to take the drugs. However, during my medication session, the doctor and I discussed the pros and cons and since there are more pros for me, I decided to take the medication anyway.

During the medication session, there happened to be a language miscommunication. Of course, I’m Dutch and not a native English speaking person so the word ‘Retard’ had a completely different meaning to me. I honestly thought “retard” was a swearword for eh…well….someone retarded. So, when the doctor advised me to take those “methyl-thingy Retard pills” I looked at him really angrily.
“Right buddy, the whole ADHD thing I can accept. I’m actually glad about that diagnosis because it now has a name! But don’t give me a ‘retard’ label!”
Just when I wanted to call him something bad, the explanation came up on the screen and I realized ‘retard tablets’ are tablets which work slowly but long. Ooooooh….aha! As a matter of fact, Retard pills are a solution for people like me who have a problem with structure and who can’t take pills on time or every 2 to 3 hours. These pills start working after about 1 hour and then they work for 8 to 12 hours.

Because I’ve had a gastric bypass, we had to check how my body reacts on the medication and so I started with a very low dose, 18mg. That first week (week 25/26) it didn’t go very well. I forgot to pick up the pills at the pharmacy, so I had only a few days to test them before my new medication session. However, I was soooo curious! Could it be like a magic pill? That I suddenly become very organized? Or that I can focus on 1 thing at the time? Oh…maybe I could sit still and talk less? And wouldn’t it be nice to finish what I start? Have more patience with slow people? Be less aggressive on the road? And above all, would it take all the hectic thoughts out of my head, so it becomes more quiet? OMG! So exciting 😊img_2335

And then….nothing happened. Really absolutely nothing.
Hm, bummer….

During my next medication session (week 26/27) the doctor checked my heartrate and pulse (they were fine) and we talked about the results and/or side effects (nope, no effects at all yet) and the doctor decided to double the dose to 36mg. Of course I forgot collect the pills from the pharmacy (that ‘retard’ makes sense after all) so I only started on the following Thursday. One of the side effects they warned me about is the combination of those Methyl-pills with alcohol (1 drink might feel like 2) and because I had I had won tickets for “Wine in the Sky” (and what’s a Wine in the Sky without wine?), I decided to skip the pill on that day.

Did you ever hear about it? About Wine in the Sky? Or maybe the official name; “Dinner in the Sky”? Well, through Facebook (Dinner in the Sky Nederland or #ditsnl) I’d won 2 tickets for their Wine session and hey, guess what? I wasn’t going to say no to that! I invited my mom (she is always in for something fun and exciting) and together we went to Amsterdam for the ‘flight’. Once we were there, we were welcomed with a glass of bubbly and then we were introduced to the 20 other people  who were also joining the wine session. After we all finished our drinks, the staff guided us to the table with attached seats and they strapped us in. When we were all seated and secured, the staff (for the wine) and the cook (for the bites) climbed in the middle of the table where there was space for them to walk around and cook, and they hooked themselves to the safety line.
One last safety check, then the countdown started and finally it was time for our lift of. A crane lifted the whole table up in the sky until we were ‘floating’ at 50 meters above the ground.

This was definitely one of the coolest things I’ve ever done!

There was this tiny platform where you can rest your feet on, but it is way more fun to leave your feet dangling in the air. Just to be on the safe side, I was wearing my sneakers. I have some issues with sitting still and it would be just my thing to, like a true Cinderella, lose one of my shoes or even both of them.  It was also possible to turn your chair away from the table and just enjoy the view. My mom kept on facing the table, after all it was a bit scary, but I turned my chair around and watched the sunset above the Amsterdam Olympic Stadion. Even for someone who doesn’t like Amsterdam (I’m from The Hague and there is always a little rivalry between our cities) it was a spectacular view, beautiful even and then, while I was enjoying the view, I felt a little lever on the side of my chair.

One of the perks of ADHD is impulsivity and I guess that’s why I wasn’t thinking if pulling that lever was going to eject me up into the sky or maybe if pulling that lever was opening up the trapdoor, I just pulled it without thinking at all. Oh woooow!!! That lever makes the seat recline and so I was almost lying down in my chair, 50 meters above the ground, while being served the most fantastic wines and tasty little snacks!
You must have noticed by now that I can go on and on and on about this experience but you can also enjoy this for yourself! Just check out their website: www.dinnerintheskynederland.nl and you can find out when their next ‘flight’ is. Trust me, it’s worth the money!

Well, back to my “methy-thingy retard” pills.
It turned out that they weren’t a great success. After leveling up the dose each time, I experienced a lot of side effects and no benefits. Now they put me on Dexamfetamine and that works well. No side effects and I’m still me, a bouncing ball but then one with less bounces.

Because I don’t want to close this post while leaving the impression that I can only talk about drugs (and a bit about wine), I will close this post with a selfie I took on the morning of my session at the Obese Clinic. You remember I had this really slow start, right? And what a struggle it was for me to lose some lousy kilos after my surgery? And then the members of my group who were losing so many kilos and who were pitying me? Well, that morning I felt fantastic and I wanted to show off my curves and make the group members soooo jealous. I know it’s a bit mean and childish and if any of the group members is reading this post, I’m sorry, but I felt I deserved all the compliments and jealousy I could get. So that morning I paid extra attention to my hair (still not completely used to the colour though) and I put an extra layer of mascara on. Gosh, those eyelashes were on fleek! Then I put on a really nice summer dress, not too tight (we don’t want any visible underwear lines) but tight enough for some figure hugging to show off my curves. Time to post a selfie on FB and Instagram (that’s fantastic for your self-esteem) and once the likes and compliments followed on my post, I was ready for my performance!
You know, it’s too bad you can’t park in front of the clinic because I arrived like a diva! In my Mini Cooper convertible, top down, wearing this gorgeous dress, hair-do a bit messed up (this windscreen doesn’t hold all the wind), wearing these cool sunglasses, while singing “Jolene” from Dolly Parton even better than she can. Hm, maybe next time I should choose a song from this century to sing along with? Nah, I felt great, I looked great and “Jolene” is a great song.

Oh right, the photo….

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Untill next time. I’ll talk about the plans my mom and I made for our new adventure. I’ll give you a little hint…😊

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